The American Sitcom Marriage

One of my biggest pet peeves has been – and probably always will be – how the media (by which I mainly mean movies and TV) portrays marriage: the couple is head-over-heels in love at the wedding and during the honeymoon, then fast forward five to ten years and you’re left with an image of the the stereotypical ball-and-chain. The nagging wife. The husband who comes home from work and sits on the couch drinking beer and watching TV. Husband and wife rarely speaking to one another except to complain about what the other person is doing wrong. Sex is viewed as an obligation. They are nothing more than glorified roommates – and sometimes I wouldn’t even include the word “glorified.”

This seriously bothers me because this is what people think marriage is supposed to look like, and it’s not! Don’t get me wrong, the “honeymoon phase” ends and I don’t think we should present marriage as being perfect, either, because it’s not.  People shouldn’t go into marriage expecting it to be wonderful all the time. There are tears. There are disagreements. There are rough patches. Love languages change. Marriage is hard, but rewarding. Trying, but humbling. Messy, but beautiful. But marriage is worth fighting for.

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What breaks my heart the most, though, is when real people are making the “ball-and-chain” comments when they learn that I am married. Instead of saying, “What a beautiful journey you’re beginning. It’s going to be hard, but it’s going to be so worth it” they say, “Just wait a few years. See how you feel then.” This really upsets me. One, because they are so incorrectly portraying what marriage is supposed to look like, and two, because it means that they aren’t experiencing marriage the way it should be experienced.

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I’m not okay with settling for the American Sitcom Marriage. I want the rich, deep marriage that God intended. I wasn’t okay with it long before I even met my husband. I don’t want young people to watch TV and think that marriage is going to be awful and boring (it certainly isn’t!). I don’t want those who are already married to be okay with less than God’s best. This is why I’m writing a series on marriage, the first post of which you just read!

Next week, I’m going to talk about while marriage is designed to be amazing, marriage is not all that there is.

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As always, get in touch! You can email me at wordssweeterthanhoneyblog@gmail.com, on Twitter (@BrandiVermette), or on Instagram (@brandigrace96)!

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My Adventure Making Dinner

I got home tonight and I was in a productive mood.  I let the dog out then I went and cleaned my car – though I have no idea why, it’s really cold out there. Then I had the urge to cook.  There are plenty of leftovers, but I decided to cook. Now, I don’t cook, I never have, but I decided to give it a shot.  So after searching through the cabinets and refrigerator, I decided to make stir fry!

I looked up a recipe and decided to get started.

I found the cutting board, sliced the onions, all was well.

Then the issues came.

All we had was canned vegetables, so I decided to drain them and make do. The problem is can openers and I don’t get along. At all. I got the electric can opener out and after fighting with it for about five minutes I went in search of a manual can opener.  After about five minutes – and a lot of juice on the counter – I got the darn can open with the manual one, though I’m really sure I did it wrong.  I struggled with the next can and then took a deep breath and went back to face my enemy – Electric Can Opener. Somehow, I got it to work and opened the can with much ease and less mess.

Then it was time to cook said stir fry.

I got the vegetables going – no big deal.  Then I realized that I needed to put the soy sauce and seasoning in.  I also realized it was going to be hard to measure and stir said stir fry and that I really should have measured them out before I started actually cooking. So, I did a strange little Open a Container Stir the Food Measure the Substance Stir the Food sequence a few times and put the frantically measured items in.

Ah, the food was done – or so I thought.  I tasted it and it needed more soy sauce and more garlic powder.  So I grabbed the soy sauce and shook some directly into the skillet. And all over the stove. My first instinct was to get frustrated, but instead I laughed and said, “The adventures of learning to cook.”By the time I was done, there were vegetables and sauce everywhere. I cleaned up and then ate.  It actually turned out pretty well!

After I ate, I went to transfer the left over stir fry into a tub.  I then knocked the plastic tub – with food in it – off of the counter and saved it by slamming it into the cabinet door with my body, saving all the food from the perilous land of Floor! I continued scraping the stir fry into the tub, unfortunately sending a bunch of it to Floor. I shooed the dog away and then swept up the poor little vegetables.  Seeing as there was a very high chance that I would throw more food, I propped the broom up on the counter behind me.  I continued transferring the vegetables when I heard the broom falling! Not allowing such a thing to happen in my Kitchen, I quickly shot my leg out behind me and pinned the broom to the cabinet while continuing to scrape the food into the tub standing on one foot.

Needless to say, dinner was an adventure.  A messy adventure.  But it was fun and I chose to laugh about the huge mess I was making (the process was pretty much a continuous mess) and realized that it’s part of the learning.

Like learning to cook, learning how to be an adult is messy, but it’s an adventure.

Photo Credit: Izzy Boscawen